MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her
hand and said, I've g ot something to tell you. She sat down and ate
quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let
her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic
calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me
softly , why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away
the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we
didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find
out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a
satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her
anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which
stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my
company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who
had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt
sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take
back what I had said for I loved Dew so d early. Finally she cried loudly
in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was
actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me
for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep
and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just
did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't
want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal
a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked
me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her
out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was
going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her
odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed
loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she
has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce
intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the
first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is
holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From
the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten
meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't
tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put
her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove
alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned
on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that
I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of
intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her
life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of
intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became
easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday
workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a
few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness
in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry
mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;
it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I
held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to
school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life
lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without
locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...
I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I
do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do
you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I
said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she
and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love
each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home
on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then
slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove
away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers
for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled
and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.



The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the
bank, blah..blah.. blah. These create an environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be
your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that
build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- ----- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

A “HAPPY” AND SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE IS WHEN ONE SUFFERS AND
ENDURES ON BEHALF OF THE OTHER… TAKING TURNS WHO WILL BE
THE ‘HORIZONTAL AND VERTICAL BAR OF THE ‘CROSS’… MAKING SURE
CHRIST IS THE ‘NAIL’ THAT MAKE THE CROSS INTACT…
‘TILL DEATH DO US PART…’

(1 CORINTHIANS 13)

Drunk Husband

Joe wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his Company's
Christmas Party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.
As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Joe had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw
is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And,
next to them, a single red rose! Joe sits up and sees his clothing in
front of him, all clean and pressed.

He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins,
cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the
bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the
mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his
wife in lipstick: 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get
groceries to make you your favourite dinner tonight. I love you,
Darling! Love, Jillian'

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the
table, eating.

Joe asks:

'Son... what happened last night?'

'Well, you came home after 3 A.M drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.'

'Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect
order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting
for me?'

His son replies, 'Oh THAT!.. Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone bitch, I'm married!'


Broken Coffee Table
$239.99

Hot Breakfast
$4.20


Two Aspirin
$.38


Saying the right thing, at the
right time......priceless !!

Pertapa dan Si Kepiting

Suatu ketika di sore hari yang sejuk, nampak seorang pertapa muda sedang bermeditasi di
bawah pohon, tidak jauh dari tepi sungai. Saat sedang berkonsentrasi memusatkan pikiran,
tiba-tiba perhatian pertapa itu terpecah kala mendengarkan gemericik air yang terdengar
tidak beraturan. Perlahan-lahan, ia kemudian membuka matanya. Pertapa itu segera melihat ke
arah tepi sungai, sumber suara tadi berasal. Ternyata, di sana nampak seekor kepiting yang sedang berusaha keras mengerahkan seluruh kemampuannya untuk meraih tepian sungai sehingga tidak hanyut oleh arus sungai yang deras.
Melihat hal itu, sang pertapa merasa kasihan. Ia segera mengulurkan tangannya ke arah kepiting untuk membantunya. Melihat tangan terjulur,dengan sigap kepiting menjepit jari si pertapa muda. Meskipun jarinya terluka karena jepitan capit kepiting, tetapi hati pertapa itu puas karena bisa menyelamatkan si kepiting.
Kemudian, dia pun melanjutkan kembali pertapaannya. Belum lama bersila dan mulai memejamkan mata, terdengar lagi bunyi suara yang sama dari arah tepi sungai. Ternyata kepiting tadi mengalami kejadian yang sama. Maka, si pertapa muda kembali mengulurkan tangannya dan membiarkan jarinya dicapit oleh kepiting demi membantunya.
Selesai membantu untuk kali kedua, ternyata kepiting terseret aruslagi. Maka, pertapa itu menolongnya kembali sehingga jari tangannya makin membengkak karena jepitan capit kepiting.

Melihat kejadian itu, ada seorang tua yang kemudian datang menghampiri dan menegur si
pertapa muda, “anak muda, perbuatanmu menolong adalah cerminan hatimu yang baik. Tetapi,
mengapa demi menolong seekor kepiting, engkau membiarkan capit kepiting melukaimu hingga sobek seperti itu?”
“paman, seekor kepiting memang menggunakan capitnya untuk memegang benda. Dan saya sedang melatih mengembangkan rasa belas kasih. Maka, saya tidak mempermasalahkan jari tangan ini terluka asalkan bisa menolong nyawa mahluk lain, walaupun itu hanya seekor kepiting,” jawab

Si pertapa muda.dengan kepuasan hati karena telah melatih sikap belas kasihnya dengan baik.
Mendengar jawaban si pertapa muda, kemudian orang tua itu memungut sebuah ranting. Ia lantas mengulurkan ranting ke arah kepiting yang terlihat kembali melawan arus sungai. Segera, si kepiting menangkap ranting itu dengan capitnya.” “lihat, anak muda. Melatih mengembangkan sikap belas kasih memang baik,tetapi harus pula disertai dengan kebijaksanaan. Bila tujuan kita baik, yakni untuk menolong mahluk lain, tidak harus dengan cara mengorbankan diri sendiri. Ranting pun bisa kita manfaatkan, bukan?” Seketika itu, si pemuda tersadar. “terima kasih, paman. Hari ini saya belajar sesuatu. Mengembangkan cinta kasih harus disertai dengan kebijaksanaan. Di kemudian hari, saya akan selalu ingat kebijaksanaan yang paman ajarkan.”

Mempunyai sifat belas kasih, mau memperhatikan dan menolong orang lain adalah perbuatan mulia, entah perhatian itu kita berikan kepada anak kita, orang tua, sanak saudara, teman, atau kepada siapa pun. Tetapi, kalau cara kita salah, seringkali perhatian atau bantuan yang kita berikan bukannya memecahkan masalah, namun justru menjadi bumerang. Kita yang tadinya tidak tahu apa-apa dan hanya sekadar berniat membantu, malah harus menanggung beban dan kerugian yang tidak perlu.
Karena itu, adanya niat dan tindakan berbuat baik, seharusnya diberikan dengan cara yang tepat dan bijak. Dengan begitu, bantuan itu nantinya tidak hanya akan berdampak positif bagi yang dibantu, tetapi sekaligus membahagiakan dan membawa kebaikan pula bagi kita yang membantu.